Another focus on life after divorce
I have always posted information on this website directed towards
helping you create a new life after divorce. So, when I read an
article in the Washington Post recently, about a woman who became
divorced in her 50’s, I decided to share part of it with my
readers. The article tells a story supporting my conviction
that, despite the initial pain you must endure, ultimately you
can thrive after divorce. I wanted you to ‘hear’ it from someone
besides me. I hope these words give you strength.
Taking Really Bold Action
Five years ago, Sue Skeith called her husband of 29 years from
Heathrow Airport to say she was leaving him, her two grown
daughters, her best friends and an outwardly perfect life she’d
built for herself in the county of Dorset, England. She felt
invisible; her marriage had imploded, and the resentment, fear
and anger she’d sublimated manifested in a one-way ticket to
Washington, DC.
On the plane ride, she was wracked by
disbelief and trepidation.
It Was a Shock to Everyone
“I was tortured because I felt guilt-ridden that I’d caused so
much pain”, says Skeith, 57 and now living in suburban Maryland.
“I am so close to my daughters. I had been this earth mother,
and all the kids used to come over to the house. It was a shock
to everybody that I could behave in such an out-of-character
fashion.”
Overwhelmed and Seeking Support
Skeith stayed with an old friend, but the shock of starting over
in a new country was formidable. She found herself dogged by
sadness, ignorant of such elemental things as driving, pumping
gas and dealing with money. Her friends and neighbors helped her
ease into the new lifestyle. Her family back in England
gradually began to understand that she was happier because of
her choice, however inexplicable it first seemed.
Coping
“Looking back, I know that the only way I coped was by taking
one day at a time, one step at a time, Skeith says.
“The first step – and continuing to take
those steps” – is what’s important, says author and professor
Robert Quinn. “When you go through deep change, it doesn’t
matter if everything is not yet clear,” Quinn says. “It matters
that you’re moving.”
Exhilaration at Last
“When you go through deep change, a new identity starts to form,
a greater alignment with the environment you’re in. You expand
your consciousness, your awareness and your capacity. There’s
great exhilaration in that.”
Get
personal help in a Divorce Coaching Club. Click
HERE
to learn more.
Contact Judy at:
judy@judysmithdivorcecoach.com
About the author: Judy Smith,
personal coach and founder of The Center for Planned Change,
focuses her practice on helping women over 50 create a new life
after divorce.
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