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Step 3: Take action to get the
life you want – the life you deserve
In other articles, I’ve talked about the
three-step process required to thrive—not just survive— after
divorce:
Step 1:
Overcoming emotional barriers
Step 2:
Decide what kind of life you really want
Step 3: Take action to get the life you want –
the life you deserve
Many people get through Step 1 and Step 2
easily, but are immobilized by Step 3: Take action to get the
life you want. Sometimes people don’t know where to start.
Others are overwhelmed by the scope of the actions. They are
defeated before they start. Often it’s hard to find the
motivation to do the work necessary to get what you want.
That’s where a divorce coach comes in.
Once you’ve defined what you want, your divorce coach will help
you take the actions to move forward. A divorce coach will
motivate you and keep you on track.
I began working with Mary Ann—a full-time
mother with two children living at home —after her divorce was
finalized. She was faced with having to support herself
financially, but she had no notion of what she wanted to do or
could do. “I have no transferable skills,” she lamented.
I asked Mary Ann to write several short
stories about times when she felt she had a sense of
accomplishment. Together we analyzed her stories. We saw
repeating themes and patterns, as well as a whole host of
personal skills that Mary Ann had never specifically identified.
In addition, I used standardized skills, interest and values
inventories. The results of these inventories corroborated the
skills and interests we identified during our discussions.
Mary Ann began to realize—despite the fact
that she had not held a job for a long time—that she indeed had
experience making meaningful contributions as well as marketable
job skills. As she recognized her skills and accomplishments,
her self-esteem soared.
We established that Mary Ann’s skills were
in communication, both written and verbal; her interests were in
creating efficiency. Her values involved helping people solve
problems. After research online and in the library, Mary Ann
decided that her ultimate career goal was an executive position
in the field of process improvement. But since Mary Ann was just
reentering the job market, she established a short-term goal of
getting a job as a project coordinator.
As part of the plan to help her achieve
her career goals, I showed Mary Ann how to narrow down and
review different industries to ascertain their ‘personalities.”
Together, we developed a ‘sound bite’ – a two to three sentence
description of exactly the job she was looking for.
We worked on preparing for and arranging
informational interviews and on networking.
Mary Ann soon landed an entry level job with a company that
handles government contracts. She worked her way up to a project
management job. She is currently acquiring the skills and
experience to reach her goal of a position in the process
improvement field.
Regardless of your life goals, divorce
coaching offers a proven process to get you there!
To find out about Judy’s unique coaching program, click on
LEARN MORE.
Contact Judy at:
judy@judysmithdivorcecoach.com
About the author: Judy Smith,
personal coach and founder of The Center for Planned Change,
focuses her practice on helping women over 50 create a new life
after divorce.
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